I am feeling a little frustrated. When I first got my VLM ballot place, I was over the moon. I was disappointed not to get sub-4 in Brighton last year and saw London as a second chance to achieve that goal. I know I am capable of it, it’s just getting there. When I went to Dubai and came across the Dubai marathon I thought it was a brilliant opportunity. Use my time to Dubai to build an endurance base, so by the time London came around the distance wasn’t a problem and I just had to get my head around getting my little legs turning faster.
It didn’t really go to plan. Running in Dubai was much harder than I anticipated and my pace dropped quite dramatically. My plans for mid-week speed work never quite came to fruition because the heat was exhausting and I started to get quite disenchanted with running. When I returned to London I had about six weeks to make some progress, which I thought was better than nothing. Then, something major kicked off at work on my first day back and I worked every hour under the sun (and the moon) for two weeks. I think the highlights included working 10am until gone midnight Sunday, returning to the office for 8am Monday, working through til 6:30am Tuesday, going home for an hours nap and being back in the office for 10am that same Tuesday. I barely found time to eat and was seriously stressed and exhausted – I dropped an inch off my waist in a fortnight and felt like death.
It goes without saying that running didn’t happen. The weekend after our deadline I tried to head out for my 16 miler but just felt exhausted right down to my bones. I managed 7 miles on Saturday, 10 on Sunday and then another couple on Monday night at the We Own The Night training journey launch. This is no good.
Now VLM is just three weeks away and I feel completely under prepared. It feels like sacrilege to turn up to a marathon like London and not give it my all. I’ve considered deferring in order to try and do it justice but the idea of giving VLM up when it’s so close makes me sad. I think the whole thing will be a disaster. Sub-4 is definitely out. To be honest I don’t think I’ll even beat my time from Brighton. I can’t explain how frustrating it is to have best intentions to hit a goal and then helplessly watch it drift further and further away. But, what’s a girl to do? I’ve chosen a career and don’t want to approach that half hearted either. I guess making progress in one area of your life is usually going to mean that other areas will take a hit.
The only thing I can do now is take a positive mindset. London is an incredible race that I am very fortunate to be running, especially with a ballot place. No, I won’t achieve my goal time but there’s so much more to running than times. I plan to turn up, enjoy the route, soak up the crowds and make my way through London with a smile on my face. I’ll see you there!