Why I won’t be “Sweating for the Wedding”

 

So, when does the wedding diet start then?

Shortly after I got engaged last summer, one of my colleagues asked me this question. It was definitely well intentioned and pretty topical (one of our other colleagues recently underwent an amazing health and fitness drive ahead of her wedding, and has continued well after it too), but something about it didn’t sit right with me. When I responded “Oh, I won’t be doing any of that” she looks surprised, before saying “Good for you!”.

Good for me?

I thought that our wedding day was about celebrating our love for one another; not about the size of the dress I wear. I’m pretty sure Dayve is marrying me because he loves me, regardless of the way I look. In any event, if he liked the way I looked enough to propose to me then I’m pretty sure it won’t be an issue on the big day.

I do understand that people getting married (brides and grooms!) want to look and feel their best on their wedding day, but since when did a wedding diet become a compulsory part of the preparations? I’ve been given/bought a few wedding magazines since we got engaged, and pretty much all of them have articles about losing weight and (old favourite) “toning up” for the big day. Because heaven forbid you turn up to your own wedding without bothering to “banish your bingo wings!” or “tone your tum!”. Your groom will surely just walk out, no?

It's a no from me.

It’s a no from me.

I’ll be honest, planning a wedding can be pretty stressful. It’s supposed to be one of the happiest times of your life, and it is pretty great, but there are loads of unwanted stresses along the way. All the cliches are true! Doing your guest list sucks. Doing your budget sucks. Sticking to your budget sucks even more. There are people at every corner who really want to rip you off, and will do their very best to emotionally blackmail you in to getting unnecessary things for “your special day”. You do not need the added bullshit of sculpting your arms or nipping in your waist or lengthening your limbs, or whatever it is the wedding industry thinks you should do.

My advice is this. Your wedding should be the happiest day of your life (or at least one of) because you are marrying the love of your life. You have found someone you really love, who really loves you back, and that is totally rad. Please don’t let anything dim that joy, especially not any notions that you should look a certain way. If you do want to shape up a bit, cool! Go for it! Just don’t get hung up on it. Your body fat percentage does not determine your happiness, your worth, or the value of the commitment you make on your wedding day. I’m pretty sure that the person lucky enough to be marrying you thinks you’re beautiful just the way you are. Try your best to think the same of yourself.

Follow:
Share:

8 Comments

  1. June 2, 2016 / 7:54 am

    This is so true. I agree with your colleague – good for you!
    Whenever I stress about my wedding and how I’m going to look, I have to keep reminding myself that my fiancé proposed because he loves me as I am. It’s a hard thing to keep in mind!
    Having said that, I’m very uncomfortable in my body. I’ve gained a stone since last August, and I’m working to lose that now, just to feel happy in my skin.

    • prettyfit
      June 5, 2016 / 1:04 pm

      Completely understand feeling uncomfortable in your skin and I have nothing against anyone choosing to lose weight for their own reasons; I just object to (a) the pressure put on women to be “perfect” on their wedding day, and (b) that somehow being as small as possible is society’s idea of perfect. You fiance loves a million things about you (including the way you look!) and I hope that you have an amazing day! x

  2. June 2, 2016 / 9:01 am

    This post is bringing back some of the parts of wedding planning I look back on less favourably… It can be so stressful and the fixation on bride’s bodies is so unnecessary (although – what’s new? women’s bodies never get a break so it’s not surprising it gets ramped up for a wedding).
    Thankfully I was never asked about dieting as directly as your colleague did, but I did encounter dress shops asking if I was planning on losing weight. I was a bit of a dick about it and turned the tables jokingly and asked if they thought I needed to! At the time I was in really good shape and feeling really confident about myself and thankfully just brushed those questions off, but it’s horrible to think that they are planting seeds in women’s minds to get them thinking that they are not perfect enough to be a bride as they are. Although I suppose of all people, dress stylists and alterations people are probably most entitled to ask about any intended changes as it’s their profession to get you looking as best you can at whatever shape you choose to be…
    Anyway, I hope the rest of wedding planning goes well for you. I absolutely hated it and cried with relief when it was the night before the wedding and all the work was finally done. We did have a lot of hitches which didn’t help (like our venue cancelling on us) but overall I hated the way the wedding industry made me feel about everything, making me doubt and second guess my gut decisions. As for bridal magazines…eugh. I bought one, got half way through, and then tore it up and used it to light the fire!
    I don’t see the wedding day as something that ought to be the best day of your life; more of a waymarker to acknowledge that you’re on the way to so many more, together. Good luck!

    • prettyfit
      June 5, 2016 / 1:13 pm

      Agree – it is just an extension of the constant policing and scrutiny of women’s bodies. I think it’s just so cruel – wedding planning is (as I think you experienced!) pretty stressful at times and it’s just another reason to feel inadequate and stressed. Also agree about not being fixated on it being “the best day of your life” – it’s just a wonderful day and a celebration of your commitment to one another. Our wedding is going to pretty low key and I just want to feel happy and relaxed – fingers crossed! And thank you for reading/commenting x

  3. June 2, 2016 / 9:03 am

    Perfectly said!
    We take a completely different view to the ‘norm’ when we discuss weddings..
    It’ll be absolutely tiny and very,very low key, I’ll wear a dress that I think is beautiful, I’ll be whatever weight I am at the time (I was over a stone more when he fell in love with me) and It’ll be about us.
    I always see and hear of women and men completely overhauling themselves and their bodies for one big day, however they forget the only people they really need to please is themselves and partners (providing he/she doesn’t have any warped ideas!). If your guests are going to judge your wedding dress size, should they even be at the event?
    The best looking brides are the ones having the most fun 🙂 x

    • prettyfit
      June 5, 2016 / 1:17 pm

      Same! Both Dayve and I want something low key and relaxed, and just don’t buy in to the wedding industry as a whole. I just hate the pressure put on (primarily) women to make everything, including themselves, conform to someone else’s idea of perfect.

  4. September 19, 2016 / 3:51 pm

    This is so great! I recently saw an article on pinterest that included a long long list of ‘essential preparations’ before the wedding day which included massages, facials, manicures and much more… why!? Who wants to ruin a happy event by stressing over a chipped nail. not me.

    • prettyfit
      September 27, 2016 / 7:29 pm

      Agreed! So much added unnecessary pressure!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *